Week Two: Monday

It's Monday, time to weigh myself.

The scale was fluctuating. I weighed myself four times and each time it registered a different weight. The readings were within tenths of a pound of eachother, but it was frustrating me. Frustration is something I can't handle right now (see "Baby Steps"). I know I went down, just how much I don't know for sure. I'll just call it a one pound loss.

I called Chris, my trainer, with the intention of asking her about her weekend. Of course she wanted to know how I was doing. She said she kept checking and didn't receive any calls or e-mails from me. I didn't want to talk about me, but we did. That's what trainers do, make you do what you don't want to do.

She wasn't happy that I had gone off my medication, but I didn't get a lecture. We're getting together this week to walk together and she wants to see me riding my bike. I'm not looking forward to that visit but that's OK because I know that I'm still in a "funk." I feel that way about everything that's coming up.

The bride-to-be hasn't seen me in the dress yet. When she comes I know she'll want me to try it on for her. I'm trying to have no expectations as far as it fitting better already, but I know that I do.

I walked Saturday morning, rode the bike Saturday night, walked Sunday morning and walked Monday morning.