I was only hurting myself

True confession time.

I was seeing a Naturopath bi-weekly. My appointments were on Thursdays. I would bring in the food diary I had kept for the previous two weeks (up until Thursday's lunch). I'd leave the appointment with my blank diaries,which I would start up again on Friday. That left out Thrusday's dinner.For too many of those bi-weekly Thursdays I would start to salivate just thinking of what I was going to eat for dinner that night and dessert on top of it! I was under the belief that it was a "free meal" and I "deserved" to eat whatever I wanted to eat. Afterall, I had to "be good" all the rest of the time.

I felt like a kid who's home alone and turns up the stereo cause Mom and Dad are gone.

One day it occured to me that I wasn't getting away with anything.
I wasn't "rebelling" against anyone, except myself. I was the one who was being affected.

That was the day I decided that I would write down what I ate on those bi-weekly Thursday nights. And I would tell the Naturopath what I was doing.

Confessing broke the power of those negative desires. I didn't relish the thought of "getting away with something" anymore. Food eaten in "secret" was no longer sweet to the taste.